Everyone, regardless of gender, has a
sexual identity: an understanding of yourself in regards to who you are
sexually or romantically attracted to. Often, this gets confused with sexual
orientation: the physical proof of who you are attracted to romantically or
sexually. Often, these two terms can mean the same thing!
Confusing? For a lot of people, it can be!
Think of it this way:
A person is heterosexual, homosexual,
bisexual or asexual (asexuality still being a debated term). If a male tells
another person and/or believes that he is a heterosexual (attracted to the
opposite sex), that is his sexual identity. However, after identifying as
heterosexual, if that same male is in fact physically or romantically attracted
to other men (homosexual), his sexual orientation is different to his sexual
After that brief clearing up of facts, I
must say…. why split hairs? Does it really matter if we can actually explain
the difference between these terms? Will it change or help to develop either
one if we understand what they mean? Honestly, I doubt it. I am sure that there
are definitely organizations and medical practitioners out there who would
happily debate back and forth on the issue, but I am also sure that the
majority of people, with full understanding of these terms, are still going to
go out and get their erections over the same people!
Over the years, I have discussed these
things with friends and acquaintances that fall under all of the different
sexual identity or orientation brackets, and even though we can all logically
and rationally discuss… ultimately, no one cares. I know that when I am out and
about, enjoying nightlife and being a sociable human being, and I see someone
that I am attracted to, the last thing I am worrying about is whether or not I
am lying to myself or fighting my own bodily urges (I never fight my urges, and
neither should you!) Why (potentially) create extra problems and sources of
stress for ourselves? Why not instead…. Just have sex and be happy?
In short: sexual identity is the end result
of you determining who you believe makes your wang wobble or your cookie
crumble, and sexual orientation is which gender/s your naughty bits respond to!