Sexual Aversion (Disorder)

Despite sexual intercourse being a very natural process, some of us actually have a phobia of this! Attempting to engage in sexual intercourse, regardless of whether it is done with a stranger or a loved one, can be a highly distressing personal experience, which can, of course, be a very quick way of damaging or ending any relationship or contact. Sexual aversion can be one of the most difficult sexually related conditions to treat or manage, as it is usually the result of a trauma from earlier in life, therefore is most often a psychological matter. Seeing as life has us navigate our way through countless situations, the original cause can be forgotten or muted, making diagnosis difficult. Although symptoms such as stress, anxiety and depression can play a large role and can be difficult to diagnose, once diagnosed, finding the root cause of these symptoms can lead to greater understanding, and potentially, treatment of the sexual aversion. Additionally, it is important to note that sexual aversion may be a permanent condition that is always present, or it may be situational (only occurs with a specific person or partner), which can also lead to having sex with strangers if unable to have sex with a loved one.

While for some of us, sexual aversion can potentially be a convenient excuse over the course of a night out (am I right?), It can cripple the sexual and social lives of many. While both males and females over the course of their lifetimes experience increases and decreases in sexual activity and desire, if it is caused by a fear of sexual contact or rejection of the urge itself (or similar symptoms), then perhaps a more serious issue is present. Rejection is a very real concern for those of us afflicted. Even a cheeky friend telling you to “just get over it”, can be a crippling sentence when unable to speak about the issue for fear of…. rejection.

With the rise/acceptance/acknowledgement of psychological and/or sexual therapy, an acceptance of one’s self and experiences can minimise and potentially cure the sexual aversion present within a person. As with most sexually related conditions, the main problem is recognising that there is a problem to be fixed and pushing past the ego to seek out help. Imagine being able to have sex without consequences (every adolescent’s wet dream in a sentence right there)! Thankfully, that situation can be a reality for those who experience sexual aversion. Through recognition, understanding and acceptance, the way can be paved for shame-free, guilt-free and fear-free sex!


If you want to know more and be in touch with me: http://www.arianasexology.com/

Erectile Dysfunction

For men, nothing can instil dread more effectively than the thought of not being able to ‘do it’. Psychologically, it can be damaging to the ego, beginning a cycle of perceived ‘sexual inadequacy’, and I have had friends discuss with me how unsuccessful sexual encounters can lower your self-esteem enough to essentially ensure that the event will occur again ad nauseam. Many are the stories of unsuccessful sexual liaisons, in large part due to the phenomenon of erectile dysfunction, and how physically frustrating these experiences can be, being unable to relieve sexual tension in the way that mother nature intended. The frustration can understandably undermine any relationship, as we all know that sexual intercourse is a very human experience, and in some respects, is a validation of intimacy between partners. Without this sexual ‘glue’, relationships can flutter and fail, taking serious integrity and understanding of the issue (from both sides) to ensure an ongoing partnership.

Fortunately, although being a very real problem that can affect large numbers of males, it is definitely treatable. From simply needing more rest, or being prescribed medication, to simply cutting back on the cigarettes and/or alcohol, there are a number of methods that have been proven effective in ameliorating the effects of ‘limpness’. One often undiscussed cause is surprisingly common in modern society, and that is ‘death grip’, otherwise known as, being a wanker. Seriously. There is a vast difference between the feeling of one’s own hand on one’s own shaft, to the feeling of another’s parts on said shaft. With enough use, one can become desensitised to the feeling of actual sex, which is generally a softer and more sensitive experience, compared to the often rough and completely bludgeoning experience of a quick polish!

Often, there is one barrier that obstructs males from addressing the issue: pride. After all, what self-respecting alpha male is going to admit to another (presumably) self-respecting alpha male that he can’t perform his expected function as a man, let alone a female doctor who may ridicule or humiliate said man for his perceived lack of manliness? The answer is none, even though it should not be an issue. However, as human beings (especially prideful males), our ego can get in the way of admitting that something is wrong or beyond our control to treat or fix ourselves. As we are often told, though, we can’t handle everything by ourselves, and medical practitioners are more than equipped (insert knowing look/dirty wink) to diagnose and suggest treatment for the issue!

If you want to know more, be in touch with me at Ariana Sexology.

Sexually Transmissible Infection (STI)

Most people have heard of someone ‘waking up with the claps’, referring to gonorrhoea. Most people have also heard of ‘the gift that keeps on giving’, referring to herpes. When the term ‘crabs’ is used to describe pubic lice, someone chuckles or laughs (to be fair, imagining miniature crabs in your pants can be amusing). Perhaps it is the seriousness of these conditions that cause us to treat them as jokes and things that you have to be really unfortunate to contract. Alternatively, perhaps we should all learn to take ‘safe sex’ a little more seriously. But, where is the fun in that, you say?

Safe sex, when it comes down to it, is simple hygiene. Wiping your hand on your sweaty, bacteria-ridden forehead, and then wiping it on someone else’s face is considered extremely unhygienic, and can quite realistically lead to a rash or infection (even a punch in the face from the other person if unlucky). So why on earth would we consider taking some of our most bacteria-laden body parts (our genitals) and sharing them with each other? Because, it’s fun. Obviously (I tend to think so anyway!).

With that said, it is very unhygienic, and there lays the root cause of contracting an STI. While advances in the field of medicine are commonplace, there are still STI’s that are untreatable, and those that are treatable can cost a lot of money to cure or treat. A set of statistics from 2008 in the U.S.A. stated that 110 million Americans carry STI’s. That is a staggering amount of disease potentially running rampant when the preventative measures are rather simple and are generally taught to everyone at a young age (especially in the western world). Those preventative measures are surprisingly simple when summarized: Wash your hands, wash your genitals, and wear a condom. If everyone who has sex follows these basic steps beforehand, the chances of contracting or spreading an STI is significantly reduced.

It is extremely important to be aware that even though you may have had unprotected sex, and there are no immediate signs, you may still have contracted an STI. Often, the symptoms don’t show for many months, possibly even years. Within these sorts of time spans, the number of people who have come into contact with your infected genitalia, may in turn have had unprotected sex with others, spreading the STI further. An innocent romp can potentially create many casualties, some of these fatal. The message is clear: wear a condom. Wear a condom. Wear a condom!

If you want to know more and be in touch with me: http://www.arianasexology.com/